Confessions of a Procrastinator

Ok… So I joked about putting this off. And sure enough, I have a legitimate excuse since I just started a month-long intensive week-end training. Judging by yesterday’s training, it will be another grueling 12-hour training today. But here I am about to show procrastination it no longer has power over me.

“Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot fun until you get the bill.” ~ Christopher Parker

One of the fun ways for me to procrastinate was to surf online and get lost on reading anything inspirational and empowering. It had gotten so bad that I even did EFT to quit Facebook because clearly, I was not getting things done and was self-sabotaging.

In my resolve to beat procrastination out of my system, I got curious about mind mastery which led me to meditation to EFT to self hypnosis to spiritual work to healing code to quantum physics to awakening coaching training then to Anthony Robbins…. to UPW… and now here I am, blogging about procrastination!

“If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.” ~Author Unknown

As a recovering workaholic, one of the things I discovered was that I was addicted to the adrenaline rush of doing stuff at the last minute. I took great pride in juggling and multi-tasking and was convinced I did my best work under pressure. Except, I was unaware I was already running on fumes. So when I had a meltdown at work that broke my pattern, it took me a while to connect to the will and the emotions to drive me back to be productive again.

One other thing I noticed, when overwhelmed, exhausted and uninspired, I felt resentful and imposed upon. And because I was losing control and significance, and a true rebel that I am, I hang on to the illusion of control by holding my tasks hostage. They got done when I was good and ready and not a minute sooner.

“Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will – tomorrow!” ~Gloria Pitzer

Knowing I should stop was a struggle to follow through and pure hell. The problem with awareness was… I was aware I was hurting myself on so many levels… painfully aware I was out of integrity therefore judging myself rather harshly. It seemed counter-intuitive to find myself even farther away than when I first got started researching on avoidance behavior. I was at a loss.

Finally, one day, I said enough! I was not making any progress so I gave up and simply surrendered. On hindsight, this allowed me to relax the resistance and just let it be. I let go of my obsessive and controlling nature and honored a quieter, calmer, more certain and joyous part of me to take over.

It took a lot of practice, I couldn’t have done it without my mentors and coaches, but I finally learned to reframe my thoughts and put my attention where my intention is.

When I am not obsessing, when I can be fully present, when I am not wrought with worries and fear, when I can connect with my intention, vision and purpose, I create new possibilities and make things happen – not from a sense of duty or obligation – but from a higher source – a free flowing of energy full of passion and desire that is unstoppable!

“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck

It’s usually when we are in doubt or in fear that we tend to procrastinate. We put things off because we are looking for a distraction to avoid dealing with the real issue. It could be stress, anxiety, overwhelm, trying to make it perfect, rebellion, fear, boredom, distraction or preoccupation with personal problems. What about you? At what point do you notice yourself procrastinating?

Procrastination is a vicious cycle and is just another way of abusing ourselves. It eats away one’s confidence and trust in self and adds even more to an already existing pile of worries, stress and frustration. It inadvertently invites failure in therefore diminishing one’s pride in performance and integrity resulting in feelings of shame, guilt and victimhood.

When tempted to procrastinate, don’t be afraid to ask the question: Why am I putting this off? Am I just being lazy and irresponsible? Do I need help? Do I need a break? Do I need a new mindset? Do I need a new strategy? What do I really want?

Instead of shoulding yourself, connect with the goals, wants and needs, and ask why it is imperative to get it done. If it is no longer important, do not be afraid to scratch it off your list! If it is no longer aligned to your goals and dreams, then make a decision! You can decide not to do it and take ownership of the consequences. Or, decide to postpone to a later time so it is not aggravating even more the current state of overwhelm.

As far as new goals and new mindset, which to be brutally honest is where I currently sit at with this new intensive training I am in, this is where having a coach is crucial. I had a session with my coach yesterday to ask for help to break my thought pattern and help me manage my fears and frustrations.  Having my coach help break things down into manageable steps really helped with my level of comprehension and degree of comfort my mind can accept.

We are habits of creatures and we go on autopilot based on past experiences. The mind will always rationalize, justify and commiserate with you and defend your laziness or lack of effort. It will convince you that you are better off staying the same because it has no point of reference to what you are trying to accomplish. It wants you to go back to what is familiar, comfortable and safe.

Get a coach to breakthrough such resistance! One strategy session will propel you forward. A minimum of 90 days will deliver the results you want and desire in life.

Having a coach and like-minded community to lovingly support, believe, witness and cheer you on guarantees a long and lasting change.

Most importantly, stop and inquire within. Honor yourself enough to check in if this is still aligned with who you are becoming. We all have a need to grow. And when we unconsciously inhibit our growth, we get stuck. We get restless. And no matter how hard we try, until we allow that which that wants to be free to evolve, we get nowhere fast.

As far as the dishes on the sink, they get done when I am good and ready and not a minute sooner.  WINK!

To freedom.

Love, light and blessings to all.