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Empty Nesting and Mother’s Day

It’s early Sunday, Mother’s day, and my mind is filled with thoughts of empty nesting (only a few months away). I just can’t help but imagine what next year’s Mother’s Day might look like.

My youngest graduates high school next month and will go to college in London very soon. We played many “lasts” the past few months. Last Thanksgiving together. Last Christmas together. At least while she’s in London. But somehow my mind can’t and won’t picture not being with both of my girls this time next year on Mother’s Day.

I can’t help but wonder… Will we ever be together again? Will we still be a family?

Photo by Mauriciooliveira109 from Pexels

Only two years ago, I was besieged with inexplicable anger, guilt, regret, disappointment, resentment, and feelings of loss and emptiness around the time my eldest applied for college. Empty Nesting Syndrome at full force.

All of a sudden all I could focus on was this disconnect growing between me and my daughter and I was so scared I was losing her. Forever. Depression threatened to come back. Fast. I was at a loss and felt helpless. My mind was racing. I was out of control.

But I promised myself never, ever, ever, ever to allow darkness to set in again. Never.

So I surrendered my pride and for the first time in a long time, I asked for help.

Seek and you shall find. Ask and it is given.

Within hours, beautiful, amazing souls, brilliant and wise coaches, angels really, came to my aid and quickly shifted my perspective and mindset. That’s how powerful coaching is. Within minutes, I felt empowered to change my strategy and how I relate to my daughter.

Change does happen in an instant… in a heartbeat.

And then, like a healing salve, only a few days later, on my birthday, my daughter finally let me read the essay she wrote weeks earlier as part of her college application. It is entitled a Mother’s Love and you can read it here.

It was as if iced cold water was poured all over me to wake me up. It was the best gift ever! Reading her essay quickly put all self-blame and negative self-judgment to rest. While she was writing her essay, I was imagining the worst, criticizing myself and making up all sorts of doom and gloom in my head.

Yeah.

We suffer unnecessarily from level of thought, that is, our negative self-talk and beliefs can drive us crazy and make us miserable. 

This is a huge pivotal aha moment that so empowered me to take back control of my life. Once again, I was shown to question my thoughts and that I was merely projecting my own fears and insecurities which was creating the disconnect between me and my daughter.

That’s the power of coaching. It’s a domino effect. The shift opened up a new level of awareness that allowed me to go even deeper to a new depth of transformation. It was not an overnight process. Nor was it easy. But definitely worthwhile and much needed.

If I was gonna end living in darkness, I needed to dig even deeper into the shadows and release them one by one into the light.

So, today, as I entertain thoughts of empty nesting, I celebrate the absence of heaviness and needless worry that used to drag me down. Finally, I am wiser, stronger and much more peaceful and joyful.

I have been preparing for this grand empty nesting celebration since. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. Oh I imagine there will be tears. Buckets. But I am no longer afraid of the void or emptiness associated with empty nesting.

In fact, the nest will never be empty. Rather, it is ever expanding in boundless, limitless magnitude. 

A nest so full of love that it keeps expanding and growing and evolving beyond my wildest hopes and dreams for my lovely daughters.

A nest so full of love that it provides unlimited and infinite support for them to reach in and discover their highest and greatest potential and calling. Isn’t that exciting? What mother will be sad and empty at such a bright future ahead?

So today, in celebration of Mother’s Day, I will enjoy and celebrate every precious moment with my girls. I know it will be great and there’s nothing I need to do than simply open up fully and unconditionally and enjoy the love that is, always was, and always will be.

Our bond, just like the bond my siblings and I have with our mom, is unbreakable. A love so powerful it transcends all time and space.

And although the cloud of uncertainty will always hover and create doubt, our love remains true and strong that will now and forevermore keep us close no matter the distance or what the future brings.

I am so excited for new possibilities and great future in store for my girls, for me and my husband, and this new baby I am birthing – this coaching business that I continue to conceive, express and grow.

I hope this story inspires you to always challenge your thoughts, fears and doubts. You are fabulous and amazing, no matter what you think.

You know what else? You are DIVINE.

If you are ready to break free from incessant negative self-talk and would like some support to take back your power and transform your life, I would love to help.  Click here to schedule a free 45 minute Get Unstuck Consultation or email me at Tess@openheartmindcoaching.com.