A Mother’s Day Message for Mothers Walking Through Silence, Grief, and God’s Refining Fire
đź’” When a Mother’s Love Is Met with Silence
There is a kind of grief that words barely touch.
It’s the pain of being estranged from your children—not because of abuse or neglect, but because you chose truth.
You stopped abandoning yourself.
You stopped going along to get along.
You began honoring your soul.
Maybe it’s because you voted differently.
Maybe like me you stood for truth, including medical freedom.
Maybe you woke up. To your sovereignty. To your soul.
Unplugged from the matrix—and they didn’t know what to do with that version of you.
And now your children are gone. Not just out of the house—but emotionally. Pulled away by fear, conditioning, or control.
They don’t call. They don’t check in.
The silence is loud.
Not just around you, but inside you.
Compounded Grief: When the Soul Can’t Catch Its Breath
To make things harder, maybe you also lost your beloved dog—
your loyal companion who offered unconditional love
when others withheld theirs.
Now, the house feels quieter,
and the ache within grows louder than ever.
And if that wasn’t enough, your nephew passed away that same week.
And your heart whispers, How much more can I take?
And now, a text:
“Sorry, Mom. I can’t risk my health when you’re still unvaccinated.”
Don’t they see?
The very thing they are imposing on me—the “safe and effective”—
is what took their grandmother. My mother.
Losing Little Bug was just the tip of the iceberg.
I’m grieving more than personal loss—
I’m grieving crimes against humanity.
And I’m grieving for the mother in me
who hasn’t seen her children in years.
đź•Š But What if This Valley Is Holy Ground?
This is the ache of motherhood that few understand.
The sacred sorrow of loving someone who no longer chooses you.
This kind of separation cuts deeper than words.
It shakes your identity, your motherhood, your sense of belonging.
Yes, it hurts. Yes, it feels like too much.
I’m not counting weeks anymore—I’m counting years.
And this year, the heartbreak of Mother’s Day came early.
So I turned to Scripture. I was led to Psalm 84. And here are my takeaways.
God wants you to know…
1. “As they pass through the Valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a place of springs.”
This is holy ground.
The pain you’re walking through is not punishment—it’s transformation.
God meets you here most powerfully. You are being guarded, not forsaken.
2. “Better is one day in Your courts…”
Like the psalmist, you’ve stepped away from the noise to stand at God’s threshold.
You’ve chosen integrity over blind obedience, truth over comfort, and the presence of God over the approval of others—even those you love.
3. “The Lord is a sun and shield…”
God is your illumination (sun) and your protector (shield).
You see clearly now. Rejection has not broken you—it has forged a rare spiritual resilience. You are being guarded, not punished.
4. “No good thing does He withhold…”
What feels like loss may actually be a redirection.
The absence of your children, the losses that keep adding up—gut-wrenching, yes. But not signs of God’s absence. These may be soul-clearing events… painful portals to freedom, sovereignty, and new life.
5. “Blessed are those whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.”
You are on a soul pilgrimage.
Though your children may not walk with you now, you are not forsaken. You walk with God.
6. “I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”
This one broke me open.
Even in the pain, you’ve chosen to remain at the threshold of His presence rather than compromise your soul to blend in with the noise of the world. Though it feels like loss, you are actually standing in the midst of something deeply holy and transformative. Hold fast. Have faith. God is not done.
The resonance of Psalm 84 had me bawling—the kind of truth that shakes you awake, reminding you of your true identity. I am so grateful for that text that left me feeling so low, explaining why they couldn’t spend Mother’s Day with me. It pierced my heart, yes, but it also brought a deep sense of clarity. I felt this truth in my bones and my very soul. And as I stand here in the silence, I trust that God is at work—transforming, healing, and drawing me closer to His heart.
This Is Not Your Failure
You did not fail.
You didn’t lose your family.
You simply chose not to lose yourself.
That’s not selfish. That’s holy. That’s brave.
And it will bear fruit—even if you don’t see it yet.
God honors those who walk in truth.
Even if it costs you relationships, comfort, or understanding from others.
You stood in your integrity over comfort.
You chose truth and stopped enabling dysfunction.
You began listening to the voice of your soul, of God.
And though it feels like everything fell apart… That’s not the end of your story. This may actually be the beginning of your resurrection.
Strength in the Surrender
This isn’t the life you imagined.
But it may be the life that sets you free.
This heartbreak is birthing a woman of unshakable faith.
A mother who knows her worth, even when others don’t.
A soul who chooses love, not co-dependence.
Compassion, not martyrdom.
Wholeness and trutn, not people-pleasing.
You’re not here to be perfect.
You’re here to be true.
And truth comes with a cost.
But it will never cost you God’s presence.
A Mother’s Day Prayer for Comfort and Clarity
Dear God,
On this Mother’s Day, I lift up every mother walking through estrangement, abandonment, or loss. Be her strength, Lord.
Wrap her in peace, and fill the silence with Your voice.
Remind her that this valley is not her end. It is holy ground.
Her story is far from over, and You are with her through every step of this journey.
Amen.
What Now? Where Do I Go From Here?
If your identity has been tied to being the “perfect” mother, this chapter may feel like an unraveling.
But remember, it’s also the beginning of your unveiling.
In my next blog, we’ll dive into your BIG WHY—the soul mission that transcends even motherhood.
Because your life matters.
You’re still here for a reason.
And it’s time to remember what that is.
This is where I’m grounding myself so I don’t escape into despair, spiritual bypassing, or the temptation to leave this world behind.
Through Kingdom Factor (my peer group and godly counsel) and Scripture, I’m learning how to stay anchored in the Holy Spirit, even when everything feels broken.
That’s what I’ll explore next, tentatively titled: “Rediscovering Your BIG WHY: What Is My Compelling Future Without the Children?”
For so long, my children were my compelling future. When I was a single mom, I was unstoppable.
But when they disowned me, part of me died.
Since then, integration has become my life’s work and passion.
Because wholeness is where I feel oneness with God.
And that’s what Christ died for—not just to save us, but to make us whole again.
Tune in as I take you with me to rediscover our big why when our children leave a hole in our hearts.
Prayer for Our Children (Even When We’re Estranged)
As we close today’s reflection, I invite you to join me in prayer for our children—wherever they may be on their journeys.
Heavenly Father,
We lift up our children to You, from the deepest places of our hearts.
Though the pain of separation weighs heavy, we trust in Your faithfulness to heal, restore, and bring back what has been lost.
We ask that You guide them, protect them, and lead them to the truth of Your love.
Help us, as mothers, to find peace in the process and the strength to trust that You are working in their lives—even in the silence.
And when the time is right,
If it is Your will,
Rebuild what was broken—on Your terms, not mine,
for the highest good of all.
But until then, I will not dwell in confusion or chaos.
“I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” (Psalm 84:10)
So I remain at Your door, Lord—rooted in love, anchored in truth, and trusting that You are not finished with their story yet.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Share this post
If this message touched something deep in you, please share it with another mother who may be silently suffering.
And if you’re a husband, partner, or friend to a woman walking through this fire—remind her:
✨ She is not alone.
✨ She is not forgotten.
✨ She is not a failure.
She is walking through holy fire—and emerging as gold.
Want more?
Read the previous post: Grief, Depression, and the Invisible Things Leaders Carry
💔 Download the Free Workbook: Restoring Hearts – 28 Days to Heal Estranged Relationships
This guided journal walks with you day by day through scripture, prayer, and soul reflection to mend what was lost and open your heart to restoration, with God’s grace leading the way.
I always love hearing your thoughts—feel free to message me on social media or send me an email.
Much Love and Soul Power
Tess | Soul Powered Leaders | Kingdom Factor