I was reading a book in my women’s group that touched on the topic of obedience to God. Suffice it to say, I found myself wrestling with the author’s perspective. The author delves into various projections of who God is and what might displease Him, reminding me of the pressures imposed by culture, religion, and society. The expectation to be a “good, obedient girl” often meant compliance and sacrificing my own dreams and desires, that had me feeling restless, unfulfilled, and empty inside. It brought back memories of my dark night of the soul and reignited the empowerment I felt when I finally awakened and clawed my way out of it.
“What You Seek Is Seeking You” – Rumi
In the margins of the book, I jotted down my thoughts: If we never disobey or make our own mistakes, how will we discover our strengths? How will we understand our need for God? Depend on others’ interpretations of who we should be? That’s conforming to societal expectation, not God’s will for us. Ultimately, from my experience, we don’t obey God out of mere command; we do so because what we’re seeking is also seeking us. I came to understand through my so-called “disobedience” that there can be no true fulfillment without God. This understanding isn’t merely intellectual—it’s experiential. Our very desires often lead us back to God. The term “de-sire” itself means “of the Father.” Yet, why are we told that desire is bad and selfish?
“Know Thyself” – Socrates
To know God, we must first know ourselves. Extracting obedience from us can be dangerous when it’s rooted in control and fear, trapping human consciousness in guilt and shame—feelings far removed from the love and acceptance that Christ truly taught us. Reflecting on my dark night of the soul in 2012, I recognized how these teachings had kept me bound. Yet, this struggle ultimately pushed me toward a deeper understanding of my relationship with the Divine.
The Danger of Guilt and Shame
For many, the term “obedience to God” evokes a sense of moral duty, suggesting that following religious teachings is essential for leading a righteous life. Some argue that these doctrines provide crucial moral guidance, fostering societal order and helping individuals navigate life’s complexities. However, my personal journey has illuminated a different truth: this very obedience can often lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and despair, keeping us stuck in unworthiness and preventing us from opening up to the love of God already within us.
Did I Let Satan Win?
I’ve had many people use the word of God to control me and instill fear. After my then-husband struck my 2-year-old daughter, his friends told me that if I left, I would let Satan win. Really? Am I supposed to work it out with someone I trusted to build a life with who hurt my child? Years later, even the kids’ piano teacher said she would pray for us to reconcile because divorce is a sin. No. Don’t assume I was disobedient to God. In my heart and soul, I knew I was being obedient to God and my Soul. Yet, being the first in my family to file for divorce felt damning. Was it God who damned me? Or was it people’s interpretation of God’s law?
“Thy Will Be Done” – Matthew 6:10
During my dark night of the soul, I felt deeply conflicted and worthless. Yet, I chose to follow my soul’s urging to explore beyond the boundaries of dogma and polite society. This journey often felt like an act of disobedience, but I knew in every fiber of my being that it wasn’t God I was disobeying. The message I received—“Thy Will Be Done”—never meant discounting or abandoning myself. Jesus’ words, “I and the Father are One,” affirmed that nothing could separate me from the love of God. My experience was far from the obedience described by the author; it was a true alignment with my Soul’s calling, leading me to a deeper understanding of divine love and acceptance.
“You Are Never a Displeasure to God” – Tess Vergara
If you’ve been a rebel or felt disobedient like me, hug yourself. There is never a moment in time that God is displeased with you. God is loving and benevolent. It’s the lens of shame and judgment passed down through generations that must go. These feelings keep us in darkness, separate from the ever-present love of God. Here’s what I found: the most profound act of obedience to God is to know, honor, and discover yourself. The parts of us we disown and deny are hiding places for shame that keep us separate from God’s love. My journey, once perceived as disobedience to manmade rules, was essential for fulfilling God’s plan for me.
Break Free
In breaking free from rigid religious teachings, I reclaimed my energy and vitality. I discovered that the voice of God—often drowned out by dogma—was inviting me to explore my authentic self. True obedience isn’t about blind adherence to rules; it’s about nurturing the divine spark within us and embracing our individuality. While some argue that obedience to religious teachings is vital for moral guidance, my experience shows that such rigid frameworks can lead to disempowerment. The heavy guilt and depression I faced nearly extinguished my will to live, yet it was through challenging these beliefs that I found my path to liberation.
Honor and Discover Yourself
Ultimately, my journey has taught me that honoring our true selves is one of the most profound ways to fulfill our spiritual destiny. Embracing our individuality allows us to connect with the divine in ways that foster growth and authenticity. True liberation comes from recognizing that God’s love encompasses all aspects of our being, including those parts we’ve been taught to view as sinful or undesirable. But don’t just take my word for it—explore this truth within yourself.
As Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Sometimes, stepping outside the bounds of dogma is the necessary journey toward true obedience to God—and to yourself.
As you navigate your journey toward true obedience—the kind that empowers rather than traps us in fear, judgment, and separation from God’s love—consider integrating your faith into your work and daily life. Kingdom Factor Marketplace Ministry offers a powerful opportunity to live out your beliefs in the world, transforming your professional space into a platform for divine purpose and service.
We hold an informational briefing every Thursday, and I’d love for you to join us! If faith and obedience are important to you, you won’t want to miss this opportunity. Register HERE.