Have you ever felt deeply rejected by a faith community — only to discover a love from God that no human authority can take away?
What happens when the Church shuts you out — but Jesus flings the door wide open anyway?
That was my story — heartbreak, surrender, and a spiritual awakening that led me to get baptized again. Not because I wasn’t baptized before, but because my soul was ready to say yes to God’s love in a deeper, freer way. If you’ve ever felt caught between old religion and your own direct line to Christ, maybe my story will help you stand in your truth too.
How It Began
The day of my baptism was overflowing with grace before I even stepped into the water. That was ten days ago. Driving into the church parking lot, I felt tears well up when the very first volunteer waved me forward — that simple welcome cracked my heart wide open. Everywhere I looked, volunteers were showing up with so much care, making the whole day seamless and memorable for everyone there.
One of Eagle Brook Church’s teaching pastors, John Alexander, even gave me a golf cart lift from my car to the registration line — I still wish I’d snapped a selfie with him! When it came time to step into the water, I was baptized by Heather Sturgeon, the small groups pastor I work with as a small group leader. That connection made it feel like a full-circle hug from heaven. Furthermore, Cassie Edwardson, from my mastermind group, was also there to welcome me to the family reminding me this truly is family, not just church.
So why did I decide to get baptized again?
Back in 2012, I was at a breaking point. I wasn’t suicidal, but I just didn’t want to be here anymore. By sheer grace, I faced my demons head-on — no meds, no numbing with alcohol, just me and God in the dark. You can hear more about this journey in my AGC talk: Harnessing Mental Health & Soul Power for Peak Performance.
A Catholic priest had befriended me, so I asked him for spiritual direction. I did my forty-day Lenten penance. But when it came time for absolution, he refused me.
Why? Because I remarried without an annulment. The idea that I should bastardize my children just to make my second marriage acceptable to the Church? I couldn’t do it. So they excommunicated me.
I was shattered.
So there I was, on my knees inside that church — rejected, weighed down by shame, and sobbing so hard it felt like my heart might break. Then, amid the crushing hopelessness and powerlessness, I felt Christ’s presence wrap around me like warm golden light. In that sacred embrace, a truth long buried broke free and blazed to life: I am loved beyond any human rule.
Religion rejected me, but Jesus embraced me fully.
Tears streamed freely as the weight of shame lifted, replaced by a love so deep it felt almost impossible to contain. Forgiveness poured into the hollows where shame had once devoured my joy, and for the first time, my shattered heart dared to believe it could be whole again.
My direct line to Christ was sealed that day — and no priest or gatekeeper could ever stand in its way again.
Years later, standing inside St. Peter’s Basilica, I heard Pope Francis’ message like it was written just for me. It felt like divine justice — but by then I knew my belonging was never man-given. Still, it soothed something in me. A divine wink saying, “I see you.”
I kept going to Mass on Easter and Christmas. But the more my soul woke up, the less I could align with blind obedience and fear dressed up as faith. Christmas Eve 2021, I walked out for good.
In 2023, craving spiritual community but not shame, I found Eagle Brook Church. Coffee in the auditorium threw me off — but when the band played, it felt like a concert for God. The pastor talked about neuroplasticity, thought patterns, breaking old loops. Soul Power to the People! It’s the intersection of everything I stand for: music, personal development, and faith.
And life has never been the same.
Letting Go of Old Religion
This baptism says: I’m done dragging old chains that are not mine to carry. It buries the last scraps of striving for worth. The old identity that said I needed to earn forgiveness or prove I was holy enough — dead and gone.
This baptism also publicly declares: I choose intimacy with God over control, shame and judgment.
Christ is asking me to surrender the fear that I must earn love. To lay down old authority structures that once silenced my intuition and dimmed my light.
No mediator. No gatekeeper. No more performing for permission.
My direct relationship with God is sacred and simple. This baptism is my visible declaration that the old religious grip on my worth is dead.
If you’ve ever felt that same grip — breathe this in: You don’t have to prove what Christ already calls you.
What old chain are you ready to drop right here?
What needed to die has died. This baptism is my resurrection. My visible marker that I now stand in direct union with Christ with no gatekeepers between us.
Learning to Say Yes Without Overthinking
My mom was my 1-800 hotline to God. Then I realized — I, too, had my own direct line all along.
All those years I felt God’s providence as a single mom weren’t random. It was because I was prayerful, in my own way. Not kneel-walking like my mom, but whispering to God while driving, telling Him about my day. Never scripted. Just raw. And He heard every word.
I’ve said many yeses to God:
- Yes to raising my kids solo, trusting that with God all things are possible.
- Yes to facing my demons head-on — no numbing out with pills or alcohol.
- Yes to becoming an Awakening Coach in 2013, despite the mind screaming financial suicide!
- Yes again 11 years later, stepping into Kingdom Factor.
- And yes again, on July 19, 2025, to getting baptized again.
If burnout and depression taught me anything, it’s this: Shut up. Listen. Say yes. Sort the details later. My mind still tries to resist, grip tighter, run the old loops. But a decade of practice taught it to relax and let Spirit lead. That’s where flow, creativity, and peace find me now — when my mind steps aside and my soul takes the wheel.
So this baptism seals the death of my old mind’s tight grip. I die to the old loops of control.
The Deeper Truth
This isn’t about redoing what was done. It’s about sealing what’s done — and rising into what’s next.
When I joined Kingdom Factor last year — right after a failed business collaboration — my mind nearly talked me out of it. What if you fail again?
But Spirit said: This isn’t yours to figure out alone.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
It took me months to say yes to Kingdom Factor. Only when I declared Christ the CEO of my life and business did I feel the burden lift. This baptism says: I rise crowned with Christ’s truth. Rooted in direct union with Him, I trust my intuition, my discernment, and my closeness with God more than any human system.
What truth is waiting for you at the water’s edge?
Accountability
This is also my promise to speak and live my truth out loud with integrity. No more hiding. Live in wholeness. Be called out if I’m not in alignment. Even as an Awakening Coach, something stopped me from fully coming out of the spiritual closet — afraid of persecution, afraid of what people would say.
This baptism says: no more closets. No more limiting myself to only the practical while leaving my intuition and spirit behind.
It’s my vow to live in wholeness. No more hiding my faith. No more doors shut. No more gatekeepers. Only me, my God, and this life — heaven on earth, here and now.
Laying Down the Heavy Loads
This is me laying down the weight of religious rigidity. Instead, I’m cultivating and living daily in relationship with Christ.
Part of this new life is remembering I don’t have to carry everything alone. This baptism is my invitation to put it all down. To realign my energy and carry only what is mine.
Christ is showing me: I don’t have to carry it all anymore. So many burdens once felt noble — over-responsibility, striving, obligation. But they were heavy and draining.
Surrender is not failure. It is faith. I am not called to carry the whole world — only my part. And if I don’t carry someone else’s, maybe they’ll step up and step into their Soul Power too. And whether they do or not is God’s business, not mine.
Joyful Connection and Sacred Belonging
Part of this new life is remembering that joy is holy. Community is holy. Laughter is medicine for the soul.
There is wisdom in letting my soul be lifted by others. Community activates my true power in ways striving and isolation never can.
Holy joy. Shared power. Sacred belonging.
I don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Want a community like that too?
Come see how we’re equipping bold, Kingdom-minded leaders inside Kingdom Factor. You’re not alone in this.
What This Means For You
If you’ve ever wrestled with feeling unworthy, rejected, or stuck between old religious rules and your personal relationship with God, know this:
- You don’t have to earn love or prove your worth. God’s grace meets you right where you are.
- Your direct line to Christ is always open. No gatekeeper, no mediator, just your soul and God’s love.
- Saying “yes” to God looks different for everyone. It might mean surrendering control, healing wounds, or starting fresh — just like baptism symbolizes.
- Community matters. You were never meant to walk this journey alone. Find people who celebrate your soul and your truth.
Whatever your season, your soul’s readiness to say “yes” matters more than perfection or approval.
What would saying “yes” look like for you today?
A Prayer of Surrender
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the gift of this sacred moment — a renewal, a deepening, an anchoring of my soul more fully in You.
Thank You for walking with me through every valley, every breakthrough, every season of burnout and rebuilding. Thank You for teaching me to listen for Your whisper, to trust Your leading, and to remember who I am in You.
Today, this baptism is my yes to more — deeper intimacy, deeper alignment, more obedience to only you, only my Soul. It is my declaration that my whole life belongs to You — mind, body, soul, and spirit — integrated, healed, and wholly Yours. No separation.
Holy Spirit, seal this moment in my bones. Stir up new courage, new vision, new joy. May every part of me move in rhythm with heaven’s heartbeat.
Jesus, you taught me to make my life a living prayer. a testimony of Your presence with every breath, every choice, that transforms fear into love, striving into surrender, and burden into overflow.
Thank You for trust that deepens, wisdom that roots me, and love that carries me forward. May this baptism open up more heaven on earth.
I hold nothing back. I am ready for what comes next.
A Blessing for You
May this story remind you: you are already worthy. May you trust your own relationship with Christ, your own direct line to the Divine. May you find the courage to lay down what was never yours to carry.
May you stand where heaven meets earth inside your own surrendered, soul-powered life.
May you bury what needs to die — and rise crowned in truth that cannot be taken from you.
Your line in the sand is waiting.
What new truth will you step into today?
I’d love to hear your story when you’re ready. You’re not alone.